Ah the life of a hot 23 yr old...

So my friend Ashley calls me up from the bar Saturday morning at like 2am to talk trash and challenge me to a competitive game of one on one later on today before I go to work. I was chilling at the Hawthorne carts sucking down a vanilla milkshake from the crepe cart and fries from Potato Champion. Long story short I catch a cab to her place where I find out that she has lost her keys after a night out on NW 21st (insert gag reflex here). Talk about an area of Portland that is so not cool, but thinks they are. Pretension is as prevalent as car break ins.
Thank god for her iphone, or she would have been crying and freaking out! Actually the cell did not really prevent any of that. She was like a broken record on the "I can't believe this happened", "this never happens to me", "I am going to be in so much trouble" tip. I guess she lives in the same building as her boss and that means that part of her salary is housing.
Now her housing is pretty ridiculous. Downtown off of Burnside it's a 2 bedroom, huge living space, kitchen and bathroom with claw foot tub. Don't even ask how much I think that would rent for. I almost forgot to mention the absurd balcony off the living room!
Did I say that we finally got in the place? After effing around with this ladder that would not open up (it was one of those crazy six in one transformer ladders) I actually saw some traditional ladders out in front of Ashley's neighbors across the street. While Ashley was messing around in the backyard I went over and "borrowed" one to get up to the balcony where Ashley's door was unlocked.
It turns out that Ashley broke into the basement so it was all for not, but I could have done it and almost did just for fun if she had not been paranoid about the fact that I had "borrowed" the neighbors ladder (they had two just sitting outside).
Once inside I got the tour of her place we crashed. The next morning saw me cook a makeshift breakfast from scraps in the fridge (cheese omelet) and head back to work never even making it home. Thank you Saturday Market for having dope local artists and reasonable tee shirt prices!